The 2016 film season has commenced! And it has a lot to live up to 
indeed; as I concluded last month, 2015 may very well have been the year
 that Hollywood finally learned how to do a reboot correctly, with the 
likes of Jurassic World and Mad Max: Fury Road showcasing the same 
degree of imagination that made their predecessors shine. And let us not
 forget that Star Wars: The Force Awakens continues to break records and
 renew overall interest in the science fiction genre, shattering the 
long-standing stereotype of Star Wars fans as fat, neck-bearded white men
 with its popularity among women and those men who are not necessarily 
fat and neck-bearded (as evidenced by Joseph Gordon-Levitt's appearance 
in a Yoda outfit [1]), across a large spectrum of racial and ethnic 
diversity (which is also reflected in its cast). Fortunately, there is a
 lot to look forward to this coming year; Deadpool is the next big 
release that I have on my radar for a review on Feb. 12th, and the rest 
of the year is sprinkled with such titles as Captain America: Civil War,
 Independence Day: Resurgence, and Star Wars: Rogue One. And yes, I even
 intend to suck it up and endure what I am expecting to be the 
gut-wrenching experiences of the Ghostbusters reboot and Warcraft. 
Though, I don't even think those two films could be any worse than the 
sleep-inducing, poor-excuse for science fiction that is The 5th Wave.
          The 5th Wave is my first film of 2016, and it had the unfortunate privilege of coming right after The Force Awakens. That said, I don't 
think one can attribute my poor perception of it to my view being 
tainted by Star Wars - its rating on Rotten Tomatoes speaks for itself 
[2]. The 5th Wave is a young adult sci-fi story about a high school 
girl's struggle to find her little brother amidst a not-too-subtle alien
 invasion (and any attempts by the aliens at being subtle are so 
predictable that one would be able to call their bluff immediately). And
 throughout the whole mess, we are exposed to scenes of adolescent 
romance, not unlike the fangirl fantasies of the Twilight series, 
teenage angst, not unlike a high school kid getting mad at her parents 
for catching her sneaking out at night, and the blind following of some 
supposedly righteous, macho, high school hunk leader, not unlike Thomas 
from the Maze Runner series (which, if you recall, was one of my few 
criticisms of that series). The ironic thing is that, in a film based on
 an alien invasion, we get to see all of these various facets of a 
cliched high school girl's life, but we never actually get to see the 
aliens at all. It didn't take me long to hypothesize that The 5th Wave 
was based on another trendy young adult sci-fi novel. And, 
unsurprisingly, I learned after seeing the film that my prediction was 
correct. Don't get me wrong - I have no problem with young adult fiction
 (again, my overall approval of the Maze Runner series is proof of 
this), but, as with everything else, it has to be done correctly, which,
 I will point out is difficult to do. I was reading Poe, Hawthorne, and 
Descartes when I was in high school, so even doing something correctly 
that deliberately aims to be a bar below perfect, such as teenage 
fiction, is already hampering oneself. Still, I think it is safe to say 
that The 5th Wave didn't even achieve this bar: as the novel's Wikipedia
 page describes, The 5th Wave is a novel written by Rick Yancy that has 
been compared to Suzanne Collins' Hunger Games and Cormac McCarthy's The
 Road and "should do for aliens what Twilight did for vampires" [3]. 
LOL.
          The 5th Wave opens up with typical high school girl Cassie Sullivan 
(Chloe Grace Moretz) cautiously walking through the woods of rural Ohio 
with an M16 (yes, my first thought was whether or not she knows how to 
use that). She eventually comes across an abandoned gas station where 
she finds a lone survivor who she, with her itchy trigger finger, 
proceeds to shoot. It's at this point that we are taken on a flashback 
and given a brief overview of Cassie's high school life and the events 
leading up to that point. One night, Cassie and her best friend (I don't
 even remember her best friend's name - I think it was Liz) are at your 
"typical" high school house party. And by "typical", I mean roughly a 
hundred people at a rather secluded three-story house with red Solo 
cups, kegs, beer pong, and sex. Now, I will admit that I wasn't the most
 popular person in high school (quite the contrary - I tended to be one 
of the more controversial ones), but I am confident in saying that high 
school house parties aren't quite like that. This was more akin to a 
sports-celebration-macho frat party at San Diego State, not like 
anything I ever heard of in high school. But I digress. At this party, 
we are introduced to Ben Parish, Cassie's secret crush and high school 
football hero, who she is far too bashful to approach (take a wild guess
 as to what happens between the two of them by the end of the movie). It
 is during class the next day (apparently, that party was on a school 
night), that the events of the film start to get "interesting" (finger quotes emphasized): aliens 
invade. Out of nowhere. In a space ship that just decides to park itself
 over suburban Ohio. Cassie narrates that the aliens just hang out, 
dormant, for the first few day, after which the "1st Wave" happens: they
 unleash an electromagnetic pulse across the country (presumably, the 
world, but that is never made clear in the film). Airplanes just drop 
out of the sky and explode. Cars cease to operate. Cell phones and other
 gadgets become little more than paperweight. Humans are forced to 
resort to Dark Age sources of lighting and power when the "2nd Wave", a 
ground-shattering earthquake, happens. Dams burst and flood the country.
 Tsunamis devour coastal cities. Trees are uprooted. Faults and fissures
 open up and disrupt the landscape. Again, the body count rises. I 
should note here that I found myself wondering how the hell the aliens 
were able to cause a giant earthquake, especially given that the space 
ship still appeared to just sit there, not doing anything. It's after 
the earthquake where humans start to form refugee camps and abandon 
cities when the "3rd Wave" happens: the aliens mutate the Avian Flu into
 a much more potent form and release it as a plague amongst the 
remaining humans. Apparently, the aliens weren't watching CNN - Ebola 
and SARS would have been just as potent without having to take the time 
to mutate the flu.
          It's around the time of the "4th Wave" that Cassie's flashback starts to
 catch up with the opening scene. Cassie's mother dies of the flu and 
their father takes her and her little brother, Sam (Zackary Arthur), to a
 camp of survivors to try and rebuild human civilization and defeat the 
aliens. Not long after they arrive, however, the US Army shows up and 
explains that, for the "4th Wave", the aliens have descended from their 
ship and are now among the remaining humans, assassinating them. The 
catch is that the aliens have the ability to possess human hosts, making
 it difficult to distinguish them from those unafflicted. Accordingly, 
the military proceeds to screen all of the survivors for infection, 
separating the children from the adults and bussing all of the children 
to their military base in order to train them to fight the aliens while 
all of the adults get gunned down under the pretext that they are just 
an unruly mob. During all of the commotion, however, Cassie gets 
separated from the group that gets bussed to the military base, 
including her brother, but also manages to escape the firefight at the 
camp and flee into the woods after picking up an M16, which she doesn't 
hold on to for long. It is here that the flashback ends and the rest of 
the story unfolds. The remainder of the film can be understood as having
 two main storylines to it: the exploits of Cassie and her quest to get 
her brother back, and the life of the kids at the military base, lead by
 Cassie's former crush Ben Parish, who now goes by the nickname 
"Zombie". And it's from this point that I can say that the rest of the 
movie is more or less a crossover between Twilight and the Maze Runner, 
only far less creative and far more predictable, to the point where one 
could walk out of the theater merely guessing what happens and likely 
not be too far off. The big "twist" in the story (and by "twist", I mean
 "most predictable thing in the entire movie") is that the military are 
the ones who are actually possessed by the aliens and that they are 
training the kids to be the "5th Wave": armed child commandos who are 
tasked with going out and eliminating the remaining survivors. And while
 the children are being trained, Cassie develops a pseudo-romance with 
another "survivor", Evan Walker (Alex Roe), who, in another poor attempt
 at adding a twist to the story, also turns out to be an alien, but a 
nice one. By the end of the film, Evan reveals to Cassie who the 
military really are while Ben and crew discover the truth through trial 
and error. The ending scene is a daring rescue by Ben and Cassie to 
liberate Sam and the rest of Ben's child troopers while Evan lays siege 
to the military base, prompting an evacuation of the aliens and allowing
 the head honcho of the aliens, Vosch (Liev Schreiber), to escape, thus 
leaving the series open for a (god help us) second installment.
          It's usually at this point in one of my film reviews that I go over the 
pros and cons of a film and weigh them against each other. However, I 
just can't seem to do that in this case. The 5th Wave does absolutely 
nothing right - it managed to somehow botch every possible aspect of the
 film so that, try as I may, I cannot find anything good to say about 
it. The plot was so generic that you would think the writers and 
producers have a shelf of stock storylines that they just randomly 
recycle over and over, foregoing the effort of putting any kind of 
creativity into the narrative. The characters had absolutely no depth or
 complexity to them, and any scene where they tried creating any 
semblance of depth or complexity backfired miserably, instead making the
 scene out to be more melodramatic and silly. For example, when Ben and 
his newly formed squadron of child soldiers are training at the military
 base, they are joined by a new recruit, a girl named Ringer, who, 
within the first five seconds of appearing on screen, proceeds to go up 
to Ben and announce "I am not taking orders from you" while turning to 
another boy in Ben's unit and declaring "If you look at me the wrong 
way, I will punch your lights out", after which she begins to describe 
how she got kicked out of her former unit for essentially being too "edgy". 
Effectively, this character might as well have barged into the room and 
grumbled "grrrr I'm a badass grrrr" and it would have had the exact same effect. This is like the kid in high school
 who thinks he would be "Mr. Cool" if he walked into the classroom 
wearing a leather jacket with the collar popped up while referring to 
his teacher as "daddy-o". Rule No. 1 in effective character development 
tells us that you must show us the content of one's character, not tell 
us. It would be one thing for J.K. Rowling to simply tell us that 
Bellarix Lestrange is a bad person, but it's an entirely different thing
 to witness Bellatrix impale Dobby with a knife. However, The 5th Wave 
felt like it didn't even need to follow the fundamental rules of 
storytelling and thought it could get away with doing the exact 
opposite.
          The romance scenes in the film were also unbearably cheesy. For example,
 there was a scene not too long after Cassie meets Evan where she 
stumbles across him swimming in a lake. And, as one can expect from 
unrealistic young adult romance fiction, Evan is a burly, white hunk 
with eight-pack abs that can do everything from fighting to cooking to 
swimming to chopping wood to hunting and everything else that society 
believes a high school girl's "dream guy" should be. I am pretty sure 
that Evan was either taking steroids or those abs were CGI for how 
ridiculous this scene was. Cassie, predictably enough, giggles like a 
little girl and then quickly withdraws when he glances in her direction.
 And I can't even say anything good about the special effects in the 
film, if only because there were no special effects. The entire movie 
was Cassie et al. running around random wooded areas or buildings. We 
never see the aliens at any point. No alien technology. Nothing. The ONE
 characteristic that I thought might have been interesting was the fact 
that the film took place in Ohio. I am totally for English-language 
cinema shirking the norm of Los Angeles/New York/London production 
studios in favor of telling a story from a different perspective. But 
this is severely undermined when the story sucks. It's a pity because 
disaster movies are rarely told from the perspective of someone in 
Midwestern America. We've seen what happens if California were to fall 
into the Pacific Ocean (2015's San Andreas and 2009's 2012), if New York
 City were to be attacked by monolithic monsters (2008's Cloverfield), 
and even if Texas politics were to have a run-in with a Mexican drug 
lord and ex-Federale (2010's Machete), but I can't think of any recent 
movies that took place in the Midwest, at least, not any memorable ones.
          In short, The 5th Wave is one that you would be best served by just 
skipping altogether. It is unfortunate that, after the great year for 
sci-fi cinema that was 2015, 2016 is off to such a bad start. If you are
 expecting aliens and advanced technology in The 5th Wave, move along. 
If you are looking for solid characters involved in serious drama, go 
watch The Force Awakens or The Revenant for a second (or third) time. If
 you are looking for a good romance story for a quick turn-on, you would
 probably be better served reading a Danielle Steele novel (which is 
saying something). If you are a high school kid who thinks that this movie
 is great, then congratulations - you have absolutely no idea of what art 
and science fiction really are. That said, I expect the next film on my 
review schedule to make up for many of deficiencies that The 5th Wave 
tainted 2016 with already. Deadpool is scheduled to be release on Feb. 
12th.
 
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